The Complexities of Communication in a Foreign Language

Guest Post by Heather Merkel

Heather Merkel, CPC is a Culture Transition Specialist who helps Expatriates and their families feel at home anywhere in the world through a core set of strategies designed to help you overcome the social, personal, and professional related issues that arise when transitioning to another culture. You can learn more about Heather at Culture Transition Coaching.

I’ve been reading a wonderful book called The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. The story centers around the life of the main character, but in an interesting twist, it is told through the eyes of his dog, Enzo. What caught my attention is the similarities of Enzo’s story to those of us who have every tried living in another country and been frustrated in our efforts to communicate.



First, Enzo understands everything going on around him, but lacks the ability to talk back. When you move to another country, if you don’t speak the language, you may feel a similar frustration, where you understand what everyone is saying, but you just can’t get the words out to reply, or say something, ANYTHING to let those around you know you get it. Enzo is forced to rely on exaggerated gestures in his inability to speak.If you’re in another country, and can’t rely on words, you, too will have to rely on another way to communicate, at least initially. Whether it’s gestures, pointing to a dictionary, silly faces and pantomimes, pointing at things, etc – it may feel a bit degrading as you initially try to get your point across.

Sometimes, Enzo can’t get his point across. There are moments in the story where tragic things happen and Enzo is unable to make those around him understand that he knows what has happened. When words and gestures fail you in another country, the result can be aggravation, and even bouts of depression. It’s enormously frustrating when you need to communicate something important and can’t seem to get your point across.

Enzo harps on humans and their listening skills. There are many instances in the story where Enzo and his master are able to “speak” without words. I can think of many examples in my own life when communication happened without words. Sometimes, even in another country, the ability to listen – really listen – beyond the words, can help you understand a situation.

Frankly, I’ve always been fascinated with how some dogs seem to understand and communicate and they do it without words. It’s in their gaze, the way they place their paw on you, their bark, their ears… I find it amazing that these companions can be so smart, and be an excellent reflection for anyone feeling the frustration of learning a new language.

I feel it’s imperative that you make every effort to learn a new language if you’re moving to a new country. However, let Enzo teach you a few good lessons while you’re at it:

1. Communication can happen without words

2. Gestures can sometimes be as effective as the words you are unable to say
3. You may feel silly while using gestures in place of words, but if you get your point across, isn’t that the most important?
4. Being able to really listen to someone — deeply, even beyond words — can sometimes have immeasurable value. And, if you don’t speak the language, you’ll be able to really tune in to all the other ways of listening!

Share your experiences of trying to communicate in (or maybe despite) another language! Just click the comment link below.

The New Global Student: Skip the SAT, Save Thousands on Tuition, and Get a Truly International Education by Maya Frost.

Exchange Students

The Frost family, Maya, Tom and four daughters, were living in Portland, OR when they decided — with three daughters in high school — to move to Mexico. In addition to moving the family overseas, each of the girls spent their junior year of high school in a foreign exchange program in another country, independently of the family.


The family was fortunate that both parents were able to handle their work virtually, so finances were not an issue. In fact, Frost explained that living overseas helped them save substantial amounts toward the girls’ college educations.

The result of all this internationalization, according to Frost, is students who graduated from college earlier than their peers, with substantially lower costs, no debt, and opportunities galore.

Under the heading, “Top Ten Reasons to Read This Book,” she begins:

“This is not your typical college-prep handbook. In fact, The New Global Student is more like the anti-college prep handbook.

“Instead, this eye-popping how-to guide offers tips, ticks, and only-if-you’ve been there secrets to show frazzled parents and students how to completely avoid the traditional hypercompetitive path to that golden university diploma and surge ahead with flaming enthusiasm and red-hot qualifications for life (and work) in the global economy.”

Quoting a variety of educational and other experts, and with testimonies from global students, including her own children, Frost cogently and wittily describes how diverging from the beaten path can help students (and their families) in some expected and unexpected ways.

Frost is a strong advocate for a junior-year abroad. Junior year of high school, that is. Frost writes:

“I’ve had three tearful goodbyes with my daughters when they went abroad during high school . . . and I can assure you that the sadness and worry you feel as a parent will be completely overridden by the thrill of seeing your child become utterly transformed into a young adult with a heap of remarkable skills that he or she could never have gained by staying home with you.”

Frost discusses the typical US “4×4″ educational system of four years of high school followed by four years of college, and then gives examples of students who have followed different paths. One of them even managed to parlay her international experience into getting into Wellesley College without graduating from high school!

“Emily Montgomery spent a year in Hungary on an AFS exchange, and after she returned to Texas, she figured out how to get into Wellesley without actually graduating from high school or even taking the GED!”

You can read more about Emily and the other students featured in the book on Frost’s blog.

Even more powerful than the message of possibility for students, however, is Frost’s clear exposition of the reasons why taking the leap to move yourself into another country and another culture at any age is a positive and growth-promoting adventure. Frost challenges the idea that choosing a popular path ensures happiness, or that “stuff” is evidence of happiness.

Finally, Frost provides a “snappy comeback cheat sheet” of responses to those well-meaning family members and friends who just don’t understand. She tells us that “the hardest part of taking the big leap is not the leap itself but dealing with those who warn you about slipping into a dark and terrifying crevasse.” She advises readers to “respond with sass and snark. . . . Wait, did I say that? I meant humor and grace.”

Whether you have children or not, if you have ever toyed for five minutes with the idea of living in another country, you should read this book. If nothing else, it will show you where your life at home could be improved by straying from the beaten path.

Come to think of it, didn’t Robert Frost write a poem about that years ago?

No.

If you are going to live in an expat enclave surrounded by your fellow countrymen and –women, you don’t need to learn the language. If you are not an Adventurer or a Cultural Expat, but an Escapist, and especially if you are moving for purely economic reasons, you might handle life in your new country just fine without learning the language. Personally, I would find it very frustrating not to benable to communicate with the people who surround me, but there are folks who are quite happy with that arrangement.

If your idea of a great life is to live less expensively than at home in the US, but surrounded by other North Americans and speaking English, more power to you.

Yes! Learning the language is vital to the success of your move. That is, if you’re a cultural expat.

Learn the Language

As a cultural expat, you are motivated to bring your culture, or a specific aspect of it, to the people you’re living among (missionary expat), or you are a student of the new culture. Either way, you’ll need to speak the language well enough to communicate on the level of ideas and interests, not just on the level of asking for the bathroom or ordering in a restaurant. While there’s a lot of commercial communication that can take place through sign language, pointing, and the like (think of bargaining in a market for something you want), understanding culture necessitates knowing the language.

Language is Culture.

German anthropologist Franz Boas believed that culture and language were inextricably intertwined. Boas believed you could not understand a culture without a deep understanding of its language, and that a language and its culture evolved together. In the process, each shaped the other, so that language, in effect, created culture while culture also created language.

If you’ve identified yourself as a cultural expat, better dust off that foreign language dictionary, take yourself off to class, or fire up that computer software.

So, bonne chance, viel Glueck, buona fortuna, 幸運, boa sorte, удача, buena suerte and 好运.